I started writing this as a comment on Emily and Sarah’s blog, but It was getting kind of long so I decided to turn it into a post instead:
I was talking to “Invisi-Jo” yesterday and she asked me what I wanted to do for college. I told her that I’m thinking about majoring in violin somewhere for the purpose of teaching it, though I haven’t made up my mind yet if that’s really what I want to do. I went on to tell her that I feel like I have wasted not only this past year and the year before, but when it comes down to it, I can’t think of a whole lot that I have done that eternally matters in my whole life. I mean, I’ve had a really enjoyable life so far and have learned a lot of things, but I still haven’t done much for the cause of Christ.
If I were to end up being a stay at home, homeschooling mom and teaching violin out of my home in the future, as I have always sort of envisioned, that could be wonderful. But then I wonder if I would not end up feeling as I do now? I think I might feel that day after day goes by, sure, I would be raising kids and teaching violin, two very good things, but what would I be doing for Christ? What would I be doing that eternally matters?
So sometimes I wonder if I should just drop the whole violin idea and do Biblical and Theological Studies at Boyce. That way, if it’s God’s will for me to be a stay at home mom, so be it. And I would know how to read the Bible in it’s original language and much more. If it’s His will for me to do missions, then I will be ready. Pretty much whatever His will is, I would be well equipped with the BTS major. Even if I were to teach violin, I may not get as much money for it, but I could still do it.
I don’t want to completely drop Bible in order to do violin, but I might completely drop violin in order to do Bible.
And so I continue to totter between doing violin somewhere, and doing BTS at Boyce.