Add a Little Spice

Amy and Emily were over at my house  few weeks ago and we were looking at stuff I had written in the past. Here is something they deemed “blog worthy”:

Next time you write or speak about a past or fictional, I want to encourage you to choose your sentence wording carefully. After all, this is really what distinguishes a good writer from a bad one. Below are some examples of how you can add some spice to a boring sentence.    

Original sentence: He was walking across the room and he stubbed his toe on the chair.

 Fifteen better options:

  1. On his way across the room his toe made hard contact with a chair.
  2. He walked across the room, banging his toe intensely against the chair on his way.
  3. Crossing the room, he smacked his toe on a chair, sending a visible shock though his entire body.
  4. His big toe made audible contact with the chair as he traversed the room.
  5. One stride threw his toe against the chair, producing a painful sound.
  6. He was on his way across the room, when his toe banged against the chair.
  7. A yelp of pain escaped his lips; the result of having smashed his toe against the white armchair, on his way across the room.
  8. I don’t know if you have ever done what he just did: stubbing his toe on a chair. I can tell you from experience that it can be rather painful.
  9. I cringed as I saw his toe aim for the chair. His leg seemed to be picking up speed. All I could do what wait for the cry of pain. And what a painful cry it was!
  10. His toe encountered the white armchair, as he traversed the dark room.
  11. The worst thing about chairs is that the always get in the way of your big toe. This particular white armchair got in his way as he tried to walk across the room.
  12. There is a particular white armchair in our living room that tends to appear farther from your big toe then it actually is. It was this armchair that made contact with his toe, during his attempt to cross to the other side of the room.
  13. I cannot tell you how many times I have stubbed my toe on the very chair that his toe now came into contact with.
  14. I watched as he walked quickly and carelessly across the room. He wasn’t paying much attention to the direction of his feet and his toe turned just enough to one side that it caught itself on the chair.
  15. I must admit that I wasn’t feeling very much sympathy towards him until he crossed the room and stubbed his toe on my favorite chair. I cannot tell you how many times I have stubbed my toe on that very chair. I’ve even thought of renouncing its title of “favorite chair” due to the pain it has a reputation of perpetually causing.

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